How To Do Nothing All Day: Mom vs Dad

Stay-at-Home Mom’s Difficult Day

Working Dad’s Difficult Day

Slept fitfully through the night listening for a child to come in scared of the storms, attacked by a nightmare, upset for accidentally wetting the bed, or vomiting.  Also because hubby snores. Got up at 5:15 to pee and begin the ritual waking-up-three-mile walk that will last until 5:45.  It begins calmly and with false chipper-ness and “Rise and Shine!” to, on the 10th or 11th pass through the bedrooms, “Get your butt up now or so help me….!”  Maybe I should start with that. Gets two kids dressed and argues over the third regarding what is and is not appropriate 9-year-old attire for school.  Luckily the kids can fix their own breakfast while I either a)get lunches together or b)sign agendas and field trip permission forms, or c)deescalate meltdown because 6th grader just remembered a major project is due 1st period that was assigned a month ago but he forgot or d)all of the above. Finally get everyone ready and out the door only 15 minutes later than required.  Ten minutes to first kid drop off at school across town, ten minutes back to the interstate, twenty minutes on the interstate to next town traffic-permitting to drop off other two at two other schools and make it home by 8:00 to find dog mad at me because I didn’t let him come with us in the car and the cat mad because everyone remembered to put the seats of the toilets down and he now has to drink out of his own water dish. Eat breakfast and catch up on a TV show. Do  dishes, laundry, or other chore until either a school calls because one of my kids is sick or 1:30 so I can go sit in the carpool line for #3. Then dodge police radar as I traverse the interstate to pick up #2 who is out 15 minutes later and when I pull up she is upset because she was almost the last one picked up and she was afraid I forgot her.  Then the girls get to watch Frozen again in the car as we pick up their brother from middle school.  The rest of the trip home is a cacophony of “Let It Go” and whining because #1`has homework but wants to play Minecraft instead. We arrive home just before 4pm to find Dad sitting on the couch playing a video game.  The first words out of his mouth are “Hi Kids.”  The second words, “I had a $#!++ day!”

Sleeps through alarm at 5:00 Wakes up at wife’s 5:30 alarm complaining that he didn’t sleep well and is now running late and Oh Hell! Coffee has not magically made itself yet! Dressed and heading out the door, interrupts kids from brushing their teeth to give him a hug and kiss because he is leaving. Calls twenty minutes later to tell wife how bad traffic is and gets upset because she can’t talk now—something about a project due….oh well, will listen to radio for a while.  Gets to work to fix computers and order people around and hear them complain about each other. Attends meetings all day while playing Solitaire in his Office. Comes home after a hard day, and wife is grumpy, which is ridiculous, because she doesn’t do anything all day.